Of Men, Women & Relationships

Because of a friend, I'm now reading the famous bestseller 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' by John Gray. I'm actually exploring and investigating how different our perspectives, views and ways of thinking are.  

 

On the cover of the one I bought, it was claimed that this book had 15 million copies sold worldwide. It must have been famous.

 

Though another friend had told that the knowledge in this book is not really relevant due to the difference in my culture and background with those of the author's, I still think that the book should be read. I have always believed that there is no piece of knowledge that is 100% useful nor 100% useless. If I can't apply all, at least an amount of it, be it a little or a considerable percentage, can still be used. What more when the book is about how people think and behave, for your way of thinking determines how you would behave.

 

 

 

From the book, I've discovered that I do think and act like a man at times. I sometimes do what men do, and think like they do. To be specific, the book mentions that when women pour their hearts and their problems out to men, the latter would usually provide solutions for the said problems. According to the book, that's not what women need. All they want is for men to listen and to offer emphaty. Wow, what a revelation. 

 

It shocked me to realise that at times, when I pour my heart and problems out to men, what I need is a solution! When I do this with my female friends, I often end up irritated or fed-up for their inabilities to provide me the solution I need. The book also said that men sometimes need some space, that they would pull away from a relationship just to have "the space". I realised I did that too. What's worse, I need that "space" too!

 

So, what's this? The book said that in a relationship, men often expect women to think like men while women expect men to think like women. So, what's wrong with me? I'm capable to think like men, perhaps due to my background of being raised up with 4 male siblings, that I somehow "had been inculcated" with their way of thinking? Or I am capable to think like men because naturally all of us are capable to think like the other sex? Or is it because we, men and women, do think alike?

 

 

 

 

For now, it feels like I'm jumping between Mars and Venus. I do think like a female too most of the times - being emotional, being sensitive and all. Yet, after a considerable time and amount of wallowing in self-pity, my rationality will take over and I guess this is when I start thinking like a man. How crazy does that sound?

 

So, can this thinking between Mars and Venus help me in a relationship? In surviving one? In understanding a man? Perhaps in understanding his actions. But I could not be the understanding one all the time. He has to understand me too sometimes.

 

 

 

I believe men and women are not created equal. Men are created with a degree of advantage over women, with some extra privileges/strength for they are required to be the protecters and maintainers of the women. Yet, women are not second-class to men. Women are suppossed to be treated with love, kindness, tenderness and compassion. Are men strong enough to do that?

 

I also believe a relationship is not a competition between a man and a woman but more of a connection which enhances both individuals. It is where each is respected and accepted  for who he/she is; and thus each should never control or be controlled. Although any differences should be celebrated, a compromise should be attained as to maintain a balanced, harmonious relationship. For the main goal of any relationship should be nothing less than happiness.